One of Colton’s Worst Experiences
Not too long ago, my son went through something that was pretty rough. It had him feeling alone and betrayed. Fortunately, he has a family that loves him so much and a mom who is a fierce warrior and advocate for him, but I felt very heavy-hearted.
I walked alongside him as best I could…when he cried…I cried, when he retreated to his room…I went with him, when he felt alone…I was there. I became his best friend, and in a lot of ways, it was a pivotal point in our relationship at such a formative period.
I think it was important for me to be there for him, but it was even more important for him to SEE that I was there for him, but it did make me think: what do all of those pre-teen boys and girls who go through things like this do when they don’t have parents or someone that is there for them? It makes me incredibly sad to think that every single child doesn’t have that kind of support system; that a lot of children feel alone. There are kids that don’t have parents that will crawl into their bed and give them a hug… even when they don’t want them to or make their favorite dinners or just watch TV with them.
It was one of the worst experiences that I think he’s had in his 13 years, but it ended up being one of the best things that ever happened to him. It forced him out of a group that was not a good fit for him (he was starting to lose his identity), but it eventually steered him in another direction where the energy was more positive and built around a common goal and like-minded interests.
I can’t even tell you how difficult it was to see the light at the end of the tunnel while you’re in the throes of battle, but it really did come full circle. I don’t think I would have made the strides with him that I did in such a short time unless the situation was as severe as it was.
I hate the parent philosophy of “they can figure it out on their own”. Yeah, that’s true to a certain extent, but it’s also overly used and such a cop-out, I’ve never let my kids “figure it out” on their own. I do let them figure it out, but definitely not on their own. That’s what parents are there for.
Don’t be afraid to make serious changes for your child if they are not in a good situation, whether that means moving schools, moving cities, changing sports, churches or yanking them out of a friend group and taking their phone for six months…whatever the case may be. Sticking it out in a bad situation does not prove anything - it is not a badge of honor. They come out the other side scarred, and they spend the rest of their lives trying to get over their childhood “trauma”, then having unresolved issues play out in other relationships in their lives much more important than those in middle school; like their spouse, kids or colleagues.
Trust me, you are better off alone than in bad company.
Some of the biggest changes I made for my kids in middle and high school directly impacted where they are today. Specifically, Alexa tells me that had we not moved her to Keystone in San Antonio from Geneva, her private Christian school, she does not think that she would be the student that she is today. As a Christian family, that was a bold move because she was going from a Christian school to a secular school. But I knew that the installation of her faith was not dependent on what school she went to. It was dependent on us.
Yes, you can let your kids fall, but just make sure they fall forward, not backwards, so when they get back up, they are still ahead.
Colton will do great things. Wait for it. 😎🙏
"Fall down seven times,
get up eight." 💪🏽🏆
- Japanese Proverb
This Was Hard!
This was hard. Realizing that half the reason you have for living on this earth has gone off on their own. We had to drop Caden off at college yesterday and it was very difficult. Alexa came then flew back to finish her senior year. It was nice that she could be there for her little brother.
I pride myself on being a very strong person, emotionally and mentally, but this one was hard. I’m always the “suffer in silence” kind of person. I don’t lean on too many people, but this was… a lot.
Alexa does such a good job keeping in touch and staying connected, but I think it’s going to be especially hard with Caden because he’s so much like me…and I know that he’s going to be fiercely independent and probably not reach out when he needs me the most. Maybe it’s our pride or maybe it’s our independence, who knows. But I hope that he does a little better than I did to avoid some of the mistakes that I made. He’s certainly smarter than I was at his age, but it’s wisdom, which comes with maturity, that I’m praying for now.
You work for 18 years to raise your kids to be everything they can be, you guide them right into being independent thinkers with their own mind, lives, opinions…it’s completely counterintuitive for a mom to do something that fosters separating from their offspring. Instinctively, we want to keep our children close, so we can protect them. It is by design that we are protective over our children so to see them off, and actually prepare them to leave, is so emotionally conflicting. There is nothing natural about this process.
The only thing worse is if they stayed; dependent or incapable of being their own person.
When it comes to parenting, the hard answer is usually the right answer. But it sucks.
Shapeshifting Superheroes!
Shapeshifting superheroes! * Working moms are masters at adapting, juggling careers, meetings, and deadlines while magically transforming into super moms, tending to their family needs with love and care.
It is a balancing act without a doubt.
#WorkingMomLife #SuperheroMoms #ShapeshiftingSkills #femaleentrepreneur #CollegeToCareer #careeradvice #CareerGoals #momtrepreneur #lifeadvice
This is Not a Religious Post…
You can not break Principles. You can only break yourself against them. - Paraphrasing Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
I paraphrased this quote from Stephen Covey. In the original text, he is referring to Cecil B DeMille’s quote regarding the 10 Commandments (laws) and he applied it to natural laws that cannot be broken. They are principles that serve as lighthouses in our lives.
This is not a religious post. I certainly don’t want people to use that as an excuse to tune out the message. It is a profound statement.
If you want to take a deeper, faith-based, dive into this idea, CS Lewis, in the first part of his apologetics book, Mere Christianity, discusses natural law as a way to explain the existence of God. His argument is that natural law exists across cultures and beliefs, and is timeless - it’s something that is innate and instinctive in all human beings. Which begs the question, where does that come from? How do we all have an innate universal sense of what is right and what is wrong; what is good and what is evil? If there is no God, where is this standard coming from?
Of course, there are always anomalies and aberrations, but generally speaking, we all have been governed over time by these natural laws and principles.
#happyhumpday #wednesdaywisdom
Work & Relationship Wisdom
Work & Relationship wisdom: Couples that work together thrive when they stay in their unique lanes and focus on doing what they do best! Just like a well-oiled machine, each partner brings their strengths, skills, and passions to the table, creating a harmonious dynamic. Embrace your individual talents, support each other’s endeavors, and watch your relationship grow stronger! ❤️🌟 #PowerCouple #TeamworkMakesTheDreamWork
This Is The Most Important Thing I've Ever Done
As a parent I've always felt that it's not my job to to raise my kids into who I want them to be, but rather the best version of who they naturally are. This has required a lot of watching and observing what their natural gifts and abilities are, but also what they naturally gravitate towards.
We all have gifts we are born with. Yes, we can develop and progress in any area if we are motivated enough, but there are certain abilities that are innate.
Harvard psychologist, Howard Gardner, developed a theory of multiple intelligence. He proposed there are actually 8 different types; although they aren't mutually exclusive, typically people will be particularly strong in one dominant area. (The 9th was added later.)
✔️Visual-Spatial Intelligence
Strengths: Visual and spatial judgment
✔️Linguistic-Verbal Intelligence
Strengths: Words, language, and writing
✔️Logical-Mathematical Intelligence
Strengths: Analyzing problems and mathematical operations
✔️Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence
Strengths: Physical movement, motor control
✔️ Musical Intelligence
Strengths: Rhythm and music
✔️ Interpersonal Intelligence
Strengths: Understanding and relating to other people
✔️ Intrapersonal Intelligence
Strengths: Introspection and self-reflection
✔️ Naturalistic Intelligence
Strengths: Finding patterns and relationships to nature
✔️ Existential Intelligence
Strengths: Ability to contemplate philosophical topics relating to mankind's existence
#collegetocareer #collegetocareerreadiness #raisingkids #multipleintelligences #findyourgift #giftedchildren #lifeadvice #parentingadvice
Simple Tip to Advance Your Career
‼️Remember peoples names!‼️
Dale Carnegie talks about this in his best selling book, “How To Win Friends and Influence People”. He calls this a hallmark good breeding.
Here are 3 tips on how to remember a person’s name:
🏆 when someone introduces themselves repeat their name back to them and also at least once in the conversation
🏆 ask them something about their name like how to spell it, or if it’s unique what is the meaning of it or origin
🏆when you close the conversation say their name in the goodbye
#careeradvice #dalecarnegie #interviewtips #collegeadmissions #collegetocareer
What is the #1 Factor in Success?
When my firstborn was preparing for college, it was a former Asst Director of Admissions at Yale that coached her because it was too difficult for me to coach my own children (as I am very subjective). But it was her own individual perseverance that got her to where she needed to be. I’ve mentored young adults and adults from college to career and I can tell you the number one factor in success is perseverance. You don’t have to be the smartest one in the room, but you do have to be the hardest working.
#Grit #DontgiveUp #WomenInBusiness #womanownedbusiness #careerconsultant #Perseverance #collegetocareer
Financially Intelligent Kids?
When my son was 15 I wanted him to learn how to buy and sell stocks on his own by researching companies and following the market.
I told him that I would match him every dollar he invested but if he ever pulled the money out he would have to give me back what I put in. As added incentive, I told him he could keep any gains, even off my portion. He agreed.
I explained to my husband that this was a life lesson and even if he lost money, I would rather he lose thousands now rather than millions later in life. Learning to take calculated risks is part of being financially intelligent.
This was one of the best things I could have done for him. He’s 18 now and his knowledge as far as investing rivals any adult I know. He’s made some good and bad choices, but overall he’s way up.
Teaching kids to be financially intelligent will pay you dividends for years to come.
Watch the full video on my YouTube channel!
Relationships Are Not Always 50/50
What do y’all think? Do you agree that relationships are not always 50/50? 🤔
Beauty from Ashes
Finally moving home after a two-year rebuild.
I truly believe that living in a state of gratitude can get you through most of life’s adversities. This takes a tremendous amount of faith. I know this sounds esoteric, but when the lightning destroyed our home, I focused primarily on how grateful I was that my kids were safe.
In life, your misfortune could always be worse. Find ways to be grateful that it’s not.
Your attitude towards setbacks will determine how you overcome them.
Will you be the victim or the Victor?
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James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
What Does Love Really Look Like?
I was making this video of our weekend celebration for Caden and wondering what to write in the caption. Then I got this beautiful text from my friend Jennifer Gabriel Barbaro ❤️🙏
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What does love really look like?
It’s easy to feel bombarded with information about what it means to love and to be loved. But the template for true love isn’t found in cultural trends, it was given to us by the God who represents the concept itself.
His love is different from any other kind of love. In fact, the Bible says that God is love.
God sent His only Son to die for the sins of every person. There was only one reason for God to experience that kind of heartache: His love for us.
God didn’t need us, but He wanted us. His love is unconditional, sacrificial, everlasting, and for everyone. When we accept God’s love for us, we can then love Him in return and let Him change the way we see ourselves. And when we learn to see ourselves through the lens of God’s love, we start to love others like God loves us.
Jesus modeled what God’s love looked like when He gave up His life for us. We didn’t deserve or earn it—but that didn’t stop Him from going to the cross on our behalf.
We become His friends when we accept His sacrifice and receive His forgiveness. But Jesus says we will truly know that we are His friends if we do what He asks of us (John 15:14). And this is what Jesus asks of us…
“Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
John 15:12-13 NLT
If we love Jesus, then we are His friends. But if we are His friends, then we will care about what He cares about. And He cared so much about us that He gave up His rights, authority, and life so that anyone could experience God’s eternal love. Jesus will call us His friends if we are willing to do the same thing.
So what would laying down your life for a friend look like? Maybe this means giving up your plans for a day in order to serve someone. It could look like preserving a relationship by intentionally giving up an argument. Or maybe it means sacrificing your time, energy, or self-image in order to come alongside someone who is hurting.
God’s love in action is selfless because it causes us to think about ourselves less. So today, ask God to show you how you can love others like He has sacrificially loved you.❤️
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Thank you to all my friends who sacrificed their weekend to celebrate Caden and our home finally being complete. Who then came over the next day and grilled, played with my kids and cleaned up because I was exhausted.
Thank you to my family for always being there for me and my kids. My brother for taking such great care of our parents so I can take care of their grandkids.
And thank you to Tate for showing Caden what true friendship and brotherhood looks like. As Caden goes off to college, I am grateful that he will always know where his True North is, not just in his family and faith, but also in friendship.
Rebuilding Our Home After Fire
I’ve talked a lot about stories in my recent posts, so here’s one…
I’ve always believed that a home should tell the story of your life.
Two years ago when our home was struck by lightning, the firefighters came through our home and took great care to cover the family photos because they knew that they were important to me. The conscientiousness was palpable.
When people walk through your home, they should get a sense of who you are, even if they have never met you before, I believe that the firefighters did.
When rebuilding our home, I wanted to create something that represented us and our journey. This particular room, which happens to be one of my favorite rooms in the house, I had paintings commissioned by a very talented local artist, Giovanna DiZurita.
I asked her if she could represent our family in the painting as if we were living in the Renaissance or a different period of time. I wanted the chandeliers in the picture to look like the Palace of Versailles’ Hall of Mirrors, which happens to be one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen in person.
I think she did a beautiful job. To me, the paintings represent souls that are connected regardless of time or space. It’s a manifestation of eternal love, soul mates, and the transient nature of time.
I did not refurbish Athena, Goddess of Wisdom & War, or Apollo because the damage done to them from the fire represents an event in our lives. It becomes part of our story.
You can not erase your history; you can only embrace it.
It becomes a part of who you are and who you will become.
These are the stories we will tell our grandchildren one day.
#herstory #history #beautyfromashes
Current Division in our Country
I wrote this years ago on but I thought it was worth reposting considering our current division in our country…
When I was 13 years old, I was reading a very ambitious book for my age... I don't recall the exact name, but it had something to do with the rise of Christianity in Western Civilization. My uncle, a Doctor of Theology, saw me at the kitchen table and immediately walked over and picked the book up from my hands. He turned to the back of the book and began to read about the author. After about five minutes, he handed the book back to me. I asked him what he was looking at and he explained to me the importance of understanding the “perspective" of the person whose book you're reading. You see, the title of the book was ambiguous enough that it could have been written by an atheist who didn't tell the story from a Christian worldview, but rather a secular one. Don't get me wrong, atheists have the right to write books too, but it's important that we understand what we're reading and whose perspective we are digesting.
The same goes when watching the news, reading the newspaper, or listening to a speaker. It's okay to read and listen to different viewpoints, it's just important that we understand the angle, perspective, and motive of the person delivering the message. Personally, I like to watch opposing viewpoints because it helps me understand the other side of the argument. It helps me to challenge my own belief system and hopefully strengthen it.
The best debaters know both sides of the argument. They can argue the opposite side just as well as they can argue their own. Every "side" has its "points" and that is why the country is so divided. But YOUR truth comes down to what is consistent with who you are as a person, your faith and your belief system.
My uncle taught me an invaluable lesson that day. It has since stayed with me for the majority of my life. Everything I read, everything I hear, I always consider the source and where they're coming from and why. What do they have to gain and what is their motive/agenda? Sometimes there isn't one, or the motive is for good, but my point is simply to be AWARE.
I’ve Always Loved to Teach
I’ve always loved to teach. I started my career in higher education as a Career Counselor until being recruited into the corporate world of business. It’s funny how life comes full circle and now my side hustle (hobby) is helping kids prepare for college.
I am grateful for the experiences life gave me in business because although I’m somewhat in the same place that I started, I have a lot more wisdom to impart 20 years later. I have a fuller perspective and an expanded ability to teach what I know. If I had only stayed in academia, there’s no way I would know how to start, build, brand, or scale businesses. I would not know how to handle finances, trusts, legal issues, contracts, create organizational structures, trademarks etc. There’s only so much you can learn from textbooks…you have to just go out and do it.
That’s one of the main lessons I try to teach my kids and students, “do” something that others aren’t doing. Make it unique, think outside the box. If you do what everyone else is doing, you will end up where everyone else is.
Have I Loved Others Well?
I love going on vacation but sometimes having idle time leaves too much space to contemplate things that I wouldn’t otherwise have time to in my very busy life.
Going into the second half of my life I wonder if it’s been a life well lived. Have I used the gifts at my disposal to make a positive impact on the world… have I lived a life of integrity? Have I been of service to others, to my family, to my kids?
But mainly, have I loved others well?
As a Christian, the concept of loving others is such an understated fundamental. I think people miss the message here. Christianity is a synonym for love. It’s something you “do” - people should know you’re a Christian by what you do more than what you say.
I was discussing the merits of Christianity with a friend who was focused on the judgement she felt by other Christians. I’m not sure how self-professed Christians came to the conclusion that somehow, they were placed in a position to judge others but the truth is it’s the exact opposite. The point of Christianity is that we don’t have the right to judge others because we are all so flawed and imperfect ourselves. I don’t understand why Christians do such a bad job representing their faith. I also don’t understand why people judge Christianity by these people that aren’t representatives of the faith.
I think my friend felt comforted by our conversation, at the very least she knew she was loved by me and not judged in any way. I encouraged her to give others, including me, the same latitude and grace. We are all just imperfect people trying to figure it out.
“For with whatever judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with whatever measure you measure, it will be measured to you.”
I’m Really Proud of Caden
I’m really proud of Caden. He was recently accepted early to Vanderbilt University, which is one of the best schools in the country and extremely competitive to get into. But it was not an easy feat for him. I think that what I’m most proud of is his perseverance.
One component of admissions is the standardized test score. Although colleges do not rely solely on that to make a decision, it is one of the factors that contribute to their holistic understanding of the candidate. Caden and Alexa both took the SAT three times. Not because I asked them to but because they wanted to. The first one was kind of a test run, and then they sat for a second time. Both received scores in their second sitting that would have gotten them into most of the competitive schools in the country. They were respectable scores that anyone would have been extremely happy with, but they did not rest on their laurels. Both of them independently decided to take the test a third time. That meant sitting in October and having to study all summer. They divided up their summer between studying, family vacations, and college courses, Caden specifically attended Vanderbilt University for two weeks. Both of them got their highest score on their third attempt.
I genuinely believe that it was that perseverance that sealed their fate for them. Alexa received many acceptances including scholarships to both Berkeley and UCLA. Caden received an early decision from Vanderbilt and scholarships to be determined. I think the moral of the story is that nothing is easy and anything that’s worth trying for requires work and effort.
Caden has also taken more APs his senior year than his junior or sophomore year. He did not fall prey to the notorious Senior Slump. He had a very robust but focused resume. Sure there were times when I had to push him across the finish line, but at the end of the day, he put the work in and proved to himself a life lesson that he will carry forever.
“Work as hard as you can on at least one thing and see what happens.” - Jordan Peterson
The Grand Championship
SO PROUD OF COLTON!!! Today he competed in the Texas Tough Sport Karate Championship and won 1st place in Creative Kata (attached), Traditional Kata, and the Pinnacle of the day- The Grand Championship!! The reason that’s so important is that he had to compete against all the 1st place competitors between 10-13 years old, including the advanced brown and red belts. He competed against some amazingly talented kids but came out on top!! This was a very different result than his last tournament, where, for the first time, he didn’t place 1st. In one event he even placed 4th. He had never won the Grand Championship against the upper belts until today.
The reason it’s so important, is he didn’t give up. He didn’t allow his last performance to define his future, to steal his passion for the sport. He (we) dug in and worked hard to improve, adding skills that he never performed previously, including a back handspring. We had many late nights, as he always wanted to wait for me to get home to practice. We had many discussions about achieving your goals. He doubled his practice time with his karate instructor, multiple-time world champion, Bear Loebe of #sportkarateamerica, and tumbling coach, world-class gymnast, Javier Sandoval at #Sandovalgymnastics. Special thanks to them for their dedication and patience in training Colton!! They are outstanding people and instructors.
We push our kids to excel, to push themselves, and to attain excellence. It isn’t an easy road to pave. Sometimes it’s lonely. It’s always hard. But so is everything worth attaining. The struggle to improve will continue. I am so proud of his determination, dedication, and passion. His hard work paid off. Hard work usually does, even in the absence of victory. Today was a good day. Thank you to God and to our friends who came to support him today, Mr. Batson, Uncle Scotty, Aunt Tammy, Uncle Rod, Auntie Christina, Trace, Zhuri, Ashley, and Reign.
Love to you all. Keep striving for excellence!
National Sons & Daughters Day
So I am a little bit late on the National Daughters Day and National Sons Day post because… well, it’s been a crazy week.
But I didn’t want too much time to go by without saying how incredibly proud I am of these kids.
⭐️Starting with Ava, who lights up any room that she’s in, and is always super positive and always has something nice to say about everyone. Her dimples are truly the eighth wonder of the world. She’s exceptionally good in math but loves writing the most!
⭐️Colton is my creative, karate kid. He reminds me so much of his older sister and his dad. Not only does he look like Steve, but he is also tender-hearted and very generous. He’s always been fascinated with people and history, just like his grandfather. Colton is the most “curious” child and always has the most insightful questions.
⭐️What can I say about Caden that isn’t already obvious. He looks the most like me and he acts the most like me. I feel sorry for him because this teenage boy can’t really get away with anything! I’ve done everything that he thinks about doing and I know every step he’s about to make before he makes it. Lol. It’s like we’re the same brain. I love his business sense and I see so much potential in him, not because he’s the most like me, but because he has his dad‘s influence on top of that.
⭐️And last, but certainly not least, Alexa. Alexa is the hardest working person in the room on any given day. She’s a perfectionist. She has gotten that from her father: a strong work ethic, a strong moral compass and it doesn’t hurt that she’s innately intelligent and easy to look at (I will steal credit there 😜). Alexa never rests on her laurels and she always underestimates the power of being beautiful with a brain. She may not win the sprint but this girl is a distance runner and she’s going to outpace the competition over time. Consistency is what she is made of.
Happy Sons and Daughters Day! I love you guys… I’m so proud of all of you.
💗,
Mom
This Made Me Tear Up
I got this note from Colt’s teacher. It made me tear up. I truly believe there are no bad students, just bad teachers. Teachers should inspire you to learn and find ways to pique your curiosity. This was by far Colton’s favorite teacher and geography was never a subject he was interested in before so that says a lot.
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Modern World Geography (Cyr, Colton) - 04/26/2022
Colt scored a 100% on his final!! I just KNEW that he would! He applied the five themes of geography accurately given examples and definitions, and this will set him up well when he takes Cultural Geography as a freshman. I can't believe we are at the end, and that I won't see Colt for so long! I told him that I probably wouldn't recognize him when he comes back in the fall, and I made him promise not to scare me when he comes back like Vin Diesel! I hope you all have a wonderful break! Please take pictures of any trips you take. After his exam was done, Colt and I talked about ziplining and climbing adventures! I showed him pictures of the time I went ziplining in a cave (Mammoth Caves, Kentucky area; it's called Mega Caverns). I hope you all have lots of fun family adventures that I can ask him about when he returns. Happy vacation!! Colt has been an amazing student, and even if he's not on my schedule for the fall, I am still his lead teacher, so I'll be checking in on him and his progress. If you need anything over the break, please email me! I'll be teaching all summer, so if you're in a destination and you want some enrichment exercises for Colton, I'd be happy to oblige. He's so smart and inquisitive, though, that I doubt you'll need any assistance finding something he loves. He seems to be able to find passion in just about anything. What an amazing son you have!
