Gotcha Day!

I heard once that Adoption is a gift of the highest order. Although I couldn’t agree more, I would add that the gift is to the parents. I’ve been told a couple dozen times in Ava‘s life how “lucky she is, how fortunate she is, and how blessed she is.” I do appreciate these very well-intentioned comments, I would only add that we, as parents, are the ones receiving the gift...we are truly the lucky, fortunate, and blessed ones. Yes, I know that it goes both ways; however, relative to the amount of joy that she has given us, I don’t know if the scales are evenly weighted.

People asked me many times during the course of the pregnancy, “What if she is taken from you at birth? What if the birth mom changes her mind?” I always replied the same way...If our presence in this situation was simply to convince her birth mom to keep her...and that was our role that God intended for us, then I would be OK with that. Having a part in saving a life or sparing a life was important in and of itself. I had to trust in God’s plan for us and for her.

Of course, once Ava comes home from the hospital that completely changes. But prior to that, my feeling was that sometimes the story is not yours; sometimes you’re just a part of someone else’s journey. You are playing a minor role in THEIR story.

Fortunately, for us, that was not the case and our role in Ava’s life, and hers in ours, was much bigger. She is truly a gift of the highest order.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Happy #GotchaDay🥰

Alexa’s Friendships Throughout the Years

Many of you know how proud we are of this young lady, but few know why. Although there are many reasons, the one that God has prevailed upon me in this moment is her unconditional love for others. In looking at Alexa’s friendships throughout the years, I’ve realized a few things about her. 1️⃣ She is more into quality than quantity. 2️⃣ She holds on to the most meaningful relationships for a long time. 3️⃣ This is what I love the most, she chooses her relationship with zero regard for the superficial trappings that most teenagers (and adults) would normally have. She is able to see beyond socio-economic, age, racial and religious boundaries. Although very convicted in her own beliefs, she makes no qualms about being close to people of differing political, sexual or cultural nuances. Her closest friends are Muslim, Christian and even agnostic.

While never wavering in her own convictions, she is able to see people for what truly matters...their hearts. ❤️She respects where people come from, where they are at, and where they have the potential to go. I think her imparting that respect helps to foster the respect her close friends have for her. She sees their hearts first and therefore, they see hers.

Don’t ever change. I love you just the way you are. 🎼🎤

Family Values, Faith and…

I remember when I was younger I asked my father what he and mom had in common. They were complete opposites in terms of personality and interests, not to mention their cultural and language barriers back in 1969 were certainly not easy to overcome.

My dad looked at me and explained that although they were indeed very different in many ways, there were a few important areas that they were very similar: family values, faith and the sanctity of marriage.

This was a salient memory for me because I realized what my dad’s priorities were. In that moment it dawned on me that what he cared about in his life’s partner was not if they were both introverted or extroverted, if they were rich or poor, or if their first languages were the same, what was important to him were that her priorities in life were the same as his. What he felt were the most important things in life, she also felt. -

My dad and mom have been married for 50 years. He’s a man of integrity who prioritizes his family, faith and marriage. I’m proud to be his daughter ...and favorite child. 😉

Everyone Deserves Grace

A few years ago, I was listening to a speaker talk about handicaps and crutches. She had a limp, the technical word would be foot-drop, and described how for a large part of her life she felt very insecure because of the way people would look at her. She also had other health related issues that caused undesired weight gain. After years of struggling and self reflection, she realized that she is not the only one walking around with some sort of handicap or crutch, but rather 99.9% of people out there are...hers just happened to be visible and exposed for the world to see and, at times, judge. However, we all have a “perceived” deficiency that we grapple with. For some it’s emotional, for some it’s psychological and for some it’s physical. The two formers are easier to hide than the latter, but that doesn’t make them any less significant.

This reminded me that we never know what kind of battles the people in our lives are dealing with. I remind my kids that they can’t expect their friends to be perfect when they certainly aren’t. Everyone needs grace and the latitude to be human. And we all need to be a bit kinder, a bit more generous with our affection, and a whole lot more understanding. This is tough as we are all caught up in trying to over compensate for our own perceived handicaps that we forget that everyone else is struggling too.

What handicaps or crutches are you walking around with? I can name about 10 right now. 😅

Nature vs Nurture

As a parent I’ve always felt that it’s not my job to to raise my kids into who I want them to be, but rather the best version of who they naturally are. This has required a lot of watching and observing what their natural gifts and abilities are, but also what they naturally gravitate towards.

We all have gifts we are born with. Yes, we can develop and progress in any area if we are motivated enough, but there are certain abilities that are innate.

Harvard psychologist, Howard Gardner, developed a theory of multiple intelligence. He proposed there are actually 8 different types; although they aren’t mutually exclusive, typically people will be particularly strong in one dominant area...

1️⃣Visual-Spatial Intelligence

Strengths: Visual and spatial judgment

2️⃣Linguistic-Verbal Intelligence

Strengths: Words, language, and writing

3️⃣Logical-Mathematical Intelligence

Strengths: Analyzing problems and mathematical operations

4️⃣Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence

Strengths: Physical movement, motor control

5️⃣Musical Intelligence

Strengths: Rhythm and music

6️⃣Interpersonal Intelligence

Strengths: Understanding and relating to other people

7️⃣Intrapersonal Intelligence

Strengths: Introspection and self-reflection

8️⃣Naturalistic Intelligence Strengths: Finding patterns and relationships to nature

I’ve always been fascinated with this theory as it applies to raising kids and figuring out who they are. I’m not sure if this theory is 100% true, but from what I can see raising 4 kids out of the same recipe book, having them all turn out so different, so far, and the fact that they are all intelligent in their own way...I’m inclined to agree with Dr Gardner.

Although they are being raised in one family, they are unique & distinct in and of themselves. As a mom, I remind them that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Therefore, they have to stick together and have each other’s back in this crazy world.

Which type of intelligence do you relate to the most?

More Details About SASpine

Everyone asks me exactly what SASpine (Surgical Associates in Spine) does. It’s not a traditional medical practice as most people think, but, rather, it manages medical practices...

SASpine (Surgical Associates in Spine) operates as a turn-key medical practice management organization that focuses on helping Spine Specialists manage their practices from A to Z. From marketing, to patient pre-authorization and insurance/hospital credentialing, we handle the administrative burden of the highly regulated healthcare field so that Physicians can focus on delivering quality patient care. Our mid-level providers and management team take on the laborious task of managing the non-medical aspects of the practice in order to bring back the joy of taking care of patients.

• Management Services include (but not limited to):

-Billing and collection services -Patient scheduling and reception services

-Physical office and clinic space lease / maintenance -Complete administrative staff -Medical support staff -Recruitment and training of ancillary staff -Marketing and advertising -Credentialing and contracting with insurance carriers -EMR maintenance

-Pre authorizing surgeries -Legal and compliance oversight -Administration support

• Professional support includes:

-Physical therapy -Pain management

-Mid-level providers -Neurology

-X-ray technicians -Certified Coders

-Professional Practice Administrators (with compliance training)

“Give Up” or “Get Through”

To say that 2019 was rough would be an understatement. We had difficulties that I never thought were possible, although all companies go through times of trials and tribulations, this I do understand. As is the life of many business owners and those born with that entrepreneurial spirit. The “business” of medicine can be difficult due to its highly litigious (and regulated) nature, coupled with the notion that the field of medicine should be altruistic and not industrious, as if the two are mutually exclusive and can not possibly co-exist.

That said, there are many things that have gotten us through the rough patches. There’s the standard pat answers such as: hard work, determination and...good old fashioned...stubbornness, but if I had to pin-point one salient factor, it would be “consistency.” Pure, simple, unadulterated... consistency.

Throughout the years, regardless of any obstacles that we’ve endured, Dr Steven Cyr, as well as our other providers in the practice, have treated patients with the utmost care and respect, following techniques and algorithms learned from top-notch institutions such as the Mayo Clinic. For his part, Dr Cyr has consistently treated his patients the same since the day he left Mayo after completing his Spine Fellowship. A quick google search will yield hundreds, if not thousands, of glowing reviews, accolades and awards that speak to my point. Our providers, mid-levels and staff are taught that “we see people, not patients.”

Every person has a story, something they have had to “give up” or “get through” because of the accommodations their back pain has forced them to make in their lives. They all want their pain to go away, but first and foremost, more than anything, they want to be clearly and consistently heard. In my opinion, listening well is one of the key factors to Dr Cyr’s success. He is a consistently great listener, on top of being a consistently outstanding surgeon.

America Is Not Perfect

Although I’m technically Eurasian, I was born in Vietnam, grew up in various parts of Asia and identify strongly with my Asian roots. Being raised for the most part overseas until I was 13 years old, I learned to really appreciate my mother’s Asian culture, but, more importantly, I learned to see the world from a different perspective growing up in a third world country (now known as a developing country). I was exposed to things that most people only get to see through the cinematography of film. Although my Dad was an American, we lived “off base,” which meant that although we lived in a relatively nice neighborhood, if you walked two blocks to the right and jumped over the 20 foot cement wall, you were literally in the barrio. If you have never seen a barrio, watch Slum Dog Millionaire for a very accurate illustration of what a third world country barrio looks like, but you will fortunately be spared from the pungent smells.

Coming to mainland America at 13 years old, I remember being blown away by two things specifically; 1) it was January in Washington DC, so it was really cold and 2) the grocery stores had an unbelievable amount of “options,” something I was not accustomed to.

I grew up watching my mom struggle trying to take care of her aging parents stranded in Vietnam; sending supplies, vitamins and money to the extent possible. The availability, access and, again, options, for good healthcare were scarce and limited, at best. Here, options and access are like the grocery stores I marveled at when I was 13 years old...unlimited.

I think that’s one thing we really take for granted in America; the access, the availability and the options we have. America is not perfect by any means, but coming from someone who has lived and been in many other parts of the world, it’s got its perks.

That said, I’ll be forever grateful to my parents for giving me this perspective and allowing me to see the world through a “different” world view.

What Motivates You…

Years ago our nanny, Ashley, who is very near and dear to us was diagnosed with PCOS. There are many side affects with this condition, but the most devastating for her was the inability, or very limited ability, to have children. Children are Ashley’s world; she is actually responsible for bringing this beautiful child pictured here into our lives. This was, undoubtedly, the worst thing you could tell someone who has a natural love and affinity for children.

Subsequently, Ashley struggled with her health and weight for many years post diagnosis. Then, about 2 months ago a serendipitous encounter with a lovely woman who had struggled with PCOS gave her new hope as she explained that it IS possible for Ashley to have biological children...IF she changed her lifestyle and diet drastically. This woman was a living example as she was given the same diagnosis and now has children of her own.

With specific instructions in hand, Ashley went cold-turkey the next day and cut out all sugar, limited her carb intake and started exercising. Within 2 weeks, she lost 20 pounds and is scheduled to see the PCOS specialist that was recommended to her. -

I have never seen Ashley happier, healthier or more optimistic.

The possibility of having a child motivated her like nothing else prior was able to.

The moral of the story is that EVERYONE has something or someone in life that motivates them to do better. Maybe it’s a child, maybe it’s your faith or maybe it’s a significant other.

Figure out what motivates you to do better. If you do better, you live better.

“Nobody loves no one” - Chris Isaak -

Everyone Has a Story, This is My Mom’s...

Mom was born and raised in Saigon, Vietnam. She was the oldest of 5 children; being the oldest she bore the lion’s share of the responsibility, but, being a female, very little of the respect.

Mom had a difficult upbringing in a war torn, divided country. From the time that she was a little girl, she felt a strong sense of responsibility to take care of her family. Her father, my grandfather, fought in the French Army, which would become an issue later after the fall of Saigon.

After mom and dad met and married, they had two children, my brother, John, and me. Our family left the country in 1972, when I was 2 months old, for Hawaii; it was during that time that Saigon was overtaken by the communist regime. Despite my father’s efforts to extricate mom’s family, they were stranded in Saigon, now known as Ho Chi Minh City. Out of fear for her family’s life due to her father’s allegiance to the French and her being married to an American, she ceased communication with her family. This was devastating for mom who cried every night fearing for their safety.

Years later when she got word that it was safe to correspond, mom continued her mission in life to provide for her parents and siblings. I grew up watching mom work odd jobs as a seamstress, waitress and later becoming a business owner opening her own restaurant and wholesale business. She sent money to Vietnam every month, religiously, every single year of my life, supporting her parents and siblings to the point that they were all able to buy their own homes and start their own businesses (yes, the country’s economic policies became capitalist over time).

Today, many of my mother’s nieces and nephews are college educated and work all over the world. This, the result of my mother’s hard work, love and sacrifices.

I will always respect and admire my mom for this. This is an example she set for me that you don’t see much in this day and age. I have to give my father props too. He took care of our family so she could take care of hers.

SA Monthly Magazine Feature!

What an honor it was to be featured on the cover and inside for the current September 2019 issue of SA Monthly Magazine.

“I think every doctor gets into medicine for altruistic reasons and the desire to do good. But now medicine has become such a regulated and…” [READ MORE–page 188] right here!

Education vs Intelligence

With my first child Alexa getting ready to start the college application process, higher education has been on my mind. Clearly, Steve and I are big proponents of education. Ironically, Steve never actually graduated traditionally from college because he went to medical school as a Junior, then found out years later he was valedictorian of his college class; his education culminated with a fellowship at the Mayo Clinic. Concurrently, I earned a Masters in Education, specializing in Higher Education Counseling & Human Development. Although I did not stay in the Education field, I have used my psychology studies every day of my life.

So, yes, I’m all about education...but I’m not about “indoctrination.” I have never subscribed to the notion that I have to adopt another’s ideology to get along in a classroom, relationship, or life. I have my own philosophical underpinnings that make me who I am and are based on my own unique circumstances and experiences, just as we all do. People ask me if I worry that my kids will go off to college and become “brainwashed.” I say, absolutely not, because I have taught them to be the architect of their own thoughts, ideas and opinions. However, I do hope that they learn to argue for the opposite side of their beliefs, however they develop, as well as they argue for their own. It’s only then that they will really know if what they believe are truly their own ORIGINAL and true convictions. I’ve never taught my children by shielding them from the whole reality of life. I teach them that, yes, education is important, but intelligence is what matters. Education is what you have learned, but Intelligence is how you are able to apply what you have learned.

You can be educated and not intelligent; you can be intelligent and not educated.

Or you can be both educated and intelligent. #YouDecide

Is Perception Reality?

I was inspired sitting in an auditorium the other day... What you worship (ie, your priorities) determines the lens from which you filter and perceive your life... How you perceive your life determines your reality... Change your priorities; change your reality... We’ve all heard the old adage “perception is reality,” but I want to take it a step further. It’s not just about perceiving. It’s about about worshiping. You can perceive passively, but to worship requires affirmative action on your part that gets you to that place to begin with.

What do you worship in your life?
What lens are you filtering your life through?